Overheard at the pool by me and my fellow lifeguards:
“I’m pretending to be a horned pig!”
“I farted underwater and saw the bubbles!”
“I haven’t farted yet today.”
“Vagina. That’s right, I said it, vagina.” (Said by 7 year-old girls)
“It’s already a massive hernia, and I don’t want it to explode…I think the lifeguard heard that.”
“Why do you look so happy, Mrs. Lifeguard? You should come in the water. I’ll tell all the other kids to get out so you don’t have to watch them.”
“Today we’re going to review our expectations. Can anyone tell me another word for expectations?” “Ketchup!”
I smiled at two 6 year-old boys when they made dinosaur noises as they walked by my lifeguard chair. Then, thinking they were out of earshot, one turned to other and said, “the pool is a great place to meet girls.”
6 year-old boy: "I like to play video games!"
Me: "What kind of video games?"
"VIOLENT video games!"
"Oooh, what else do you like to do?"
"I like to put my face in cake."
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